Love is mysterious

When I think of him my world quiets, rests on his soul. It’s as if he is before and beside me as he was so long ago. We have no words to share for there simply are none. We move in an ancient, animalistic way, primitive moves take over. I see his light when I daydream about that time and place that exists somewhere in the universe where we are one and together. It’s not in this lifetime for if it were we would have already been in that place, I’m sure. So I dream of him at night and soak in the madness of his mystery and myself. I daydream and create voices of romantic conversations in my head that only I would find appealing- others would deem them chaos and mad. I attempt again and again to attach my reality to his but alas, my attempts are lame and his response is cold. But somehow in my mind this grand love that is true, real and big comes spilling over my soul and heart. He is the deepest desire therein and why should I not have it? Perhaps it is too big for this life? Too much to manifest or hold in this world and just ultimately in my own mind. Unrequited love can be like that. So I release him and it into the universe and stop to see those in my world loving me. I will love them back with the kind of big love they deserve. For love is a mysterious thing. I hold on, let go and then just give up. Freeze it and thaw it. Warm up, cool down and go, go, go. These stages come and go for us single ones. I look to my married friends and find hope in committed union, hoping to find that one day. Forever is a mighty long time but then so is soul love.

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