I feel lost, uncertain, lonely and afraid. I’m unwell, unbalanced and insecure. But guess what? That’s ok. Most folks would want to label where I’m at as a bad place. In order to grow and move beyond this place, I first have to acknowledge I’m here. Bring it to the light of existence, accept it and then seek to deal with it. I’m looking at counterintuitive ways to handle this funk. Like most folks would say run don’t walk away from it. Ok, I’ll just sit here and feel it and then come up with better feelings and feel those instead through processing the negativity. How do I do that? I sit with each emotion that comes up. Every single one. If loneliness comes up, as will be the culprit tonight I visit with her. I ask her what she needs: company, tea, a bath, a book, a good cry? I then detach from her and ask what about loneliness soothes me? How is it serving me and what emotion would fill this space better? Then I try to shift into that space. Desire Mapping by Danielle LaPorte and Soul Shift by Sage Goddess have been key guides and teachers here. I also have been rereading Courage by Debbie Ford. I highly recommend their work as you move into this sacred work. Shadow work and getting clear on how you want to feel is the work I’m in. It’s sparking creative juices and opening new worlds of opportunity.
Month: May 2019
Political Charades
These are lines for the sinners and saints
The ones who know and the ones who ain’t
Days of darkness then comes light
Words of prophecy locked up tight
Drop defensive protection
Counterintuitive notions
Coming full circle refection
Still lake calmly floating
Flexible change contorting
The sigh of a butterfly goes unheard
The grasp of a dying man is sturdy
When will we be worthy
Written writer’s words
Words on a page worlds away
Doors open wind welcomes
Writing to close this chapter
To hear my pulse beat
To see the lines meet
If I die today let the words stand
Let me remember your hand
Let the touch of keys ease this distress
Let me finally pass this test
I don’t know much about anything
I’m a human being here with you
Trying not to judge or criticize
Show compassion and gently analyze
The words never spoken haunt me
That’s the way it is supposed to be
Still lingering is this heartache
But passing by it is going
Our highest selves are showing
Invoking violet pink golden rays
Into the heart of this space
For the ink to inspire creativity
Making writer’s write once more
Elliot
Right wrongs with songs
It’s been long time coming
Maybe my mind is messed up today
I’m tired lonely sore concerned scared
This mixed mood melts me
And the weather has been different
You aren’t around
Things are changing
There’s nothing to hold onto
Except my breath
My faithful air inside
Reminding me of life
The living being inside
Connecting to one
The Source of All
And all to us
Togetherness is a dimension away
Elevated awareness ascends
To a timelessness eternity here
Witnessing moments of quiet
Spacious serenity echoing Earth symmetry
Total paradigm shift
Where word medicine heals purposefully
Where telepathy happens naturally
Longing for home, the next one
ET phone home…
to grow closer
Trippin over the steps forward
They all lead to you it seems
Sigh another breath for what
To get closer than close inside
I want this feeling to never end
Rhythm rhymes in metered mind
Lightened up and allow love to linger
Freedom the new fashion fetish
Compassion the latest craving
Kindness kindly creates creativity
This evening I am blown away
By wind madness and dreams
Waiting to feel your touch on my skin
To share your essence with mine
onomatopoeia
All the words like that
You make me feel them
In a certain way of sound
That captures the essence
And puts it into me too
Like you just seem to do
Strawberries zeal in my tongue
Lemon zest on your breath
Rasberry sizzle on my chest
Take me there quick and hurry
I wanna max out with you totally
And relax in your smell
Broken Fragments
If I told you what was in my heart
You wouldn’t want to hear
I couldn’t care to share
We live in a bruised battered world
Where sensitivity is craziness
When reaching out seems insane
But do it anyway against the odds
Rebel against social norms
It’s the new pink and yellow
If I shared what’s in my head
You would go running in fear
I couldn’t articulate if I tried
This clarity confused in the dust
If I could share my heart and mind
It wouldn’t be easy or clear
And you don’t care nor are concerned
So unity goes unmarked today
As does so many other things
We fly as stragglers in the wind
Unaccompanied by anyone
Solo and alone
Sharing nothing
Isolated completely
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