Stuck at 23

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Lately I’ve been thinking that I’m alone

That nothing will ever change or get better

My hair is long and tangled around inside

Like my insides feel and outsides look

I’m surely stuck at that boy when 23

There are showdowns and fights in my head tonight

I’m looking the past into it’s face squarely

You must be true or get to movin’

I’ve had about as much as I can take

But then I recall it’s all about that doll at 23

So now that you know where my heart stands

I ask so kindly of you- how is your heart?

Where can I find you?❤

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Older Leslie

Older Leslie is now 41. I have a beautiful daughter who is 9. Most of my life circles around her and her needs right now. I wouldn’t have it any other way. My higher power and my relationship with Source is my first priority. My second priority is taking care of myself so that I may do my third and most important priority, which is to raise my child. I wouldn’t be able to raise her properly if I didn’t adhere to the first two priorities.

My daughter has changed my life perspective for the better and has given me a new drive, purpose and meaning in life. Before she came, I was very much lost, depressed, anxious and afraid of life and living. I was in a very dark place emotionally, financially, spiritually and mentally. My pregnancy was not easy. In fact, it was very difficult and challenging. I was alone and I was doing everything by myself. I had morning and evening sickness through the entire pregnancy. I didn’t know someone could stay pregnant and remain that sick. But after she was born, things shifted. I found I had help. I wasn’t alone and the right people were there.

Now that she is a preteen we are growing together. She’s testing boundaries and I’m learning to stand my ground and say no sometimes to such a cute face. It’s a challenge. But she is a really genuinely good person and I’m proud of who she is becoming. She’s smart, funny, talented and empathic. All good qualities. She’s extremely compassionate to the underdog and understands racial profiling in a unique way (she’s mixed). She also impresses me on her understanding of bigger global issues. Kids today are smart. When they have any question they immediately google it for an answer. Our job as parents is to teach them how to research on the Internet properly and how to question information and make up their own minds. Thinking skills. I’m still working with her on this.

Beyond my child, there are other things and priorities such as: work, bills, boyfriends, friends, family, etc. that go into my day and life. I do take them as very important and serious. However, as long as my center is grounded and ok (my top 3  priorities) then I’m well on my way to making the other stuff jive too. I realize my priorities will shift as she gets older and more self sufficient but for now, this is what works for us.

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Little Leslie

imageWay back in 1982, I was a mere 7 years old. I remember my mom repeatedly playing the same Greatest Hits Barry Manilow record on the record player in the living room. Out in the garage, my dad would listen to The Rolling Stones or Crosby, Stills and Nash. We had very limited music exposure at an early age but that would soon change when my older brother would discover punk and my triplet brother would bring home pop punk. My sister loved soft and heavy metal as a teen and I adored the boy bands of pop and all dance/pop/R&B of the late 80’s and early 90’s.

By seven, I was playing touch football in the street w my brothers and neighbors. Those were the dog days of Summer back then. We threw rocks at each other, played in the dirt and with sticks, swam in the pool, played kick ball in the backyard and baseball (forever bugging neighbors for our lost balls). We were very active kids who got down and dirty with Mother Earth and with each other. I remember lots of bickering and play fights, wrestling and pushing but we learned how to communicate with each other peacefully in the end. Thanks, Mom and Dad.