Cry, Baby

blue butterflyMy Divine Friend said the weather is mirroring the detoxification that is going on within ourselves and humanity at the moment. If it’s been rocky, you’re not alone. Hang in there. Trust the process, hold the vision. Oh, and dance. That too.

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Stuck at 23

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Lately I’ve been thinking that I’m alone

That nothing will ever change or get better

My hair is long and tangled around inside

Like my insides feel and outsides look

I’m surely stuck at that boy when 23

There are showdowns and fights in my head tonight

I’m looking the past into it’s face squarely

You must be true or get to movin’

I’ve had about as much as I can take

But then I recall it’s all about that doll at 23

So now that you know where my heart stands

I ask so kindly of you- how is your heart?

Where can I find you?❤

PEACE. BE STILL!❤✝

 

Dear God/dess:❤🙏

You promised and I believe you. I trust in Your plan but can you throw a girl a rainbow 🌈 ?! It’s time.

Thanks, God.

AMEN.

P.S.- YOU ROCK.☀✝

Recovery Update

Ok, God, I get it. You want all of me. The totality that is me. All of my heart and soul, my mind and every cell that breathes you in. It’s all Yours because you wonderfully made me and I’m only above this ground living to serve you because of Your Grace granted to me on the daily.

Today is my third day off opioids. It is done. I had a choice to continue on them when my current opioid was discontinued from the pharmacy. I would have had to switch to a more potent form of them and go to classes to learn about the rules again pertaining to these types of medications. I had participated in the pain clinic before and it really wasn’t something that I wanted to repeat. So, I told my doc, let’s wean me off them and try alternative approaches.

I’m currently off the opioids. I’m on a small course of Prednisone to sort of adjust the pain in my body to get used to not having them and to settle the flare that came as a result of tapering. Then, I have a week of just anti inflammation and my nerve stabilizing medication. I hope I do okay that week. After that, I’m getting another cortisone injection in my back. Those work well for 6-10 months on me. I have degenerative disc disease that causes chronic severe back pain and immobility. However I’ve been doing good on my opioid meds mixed with the nerve and inflammation meds. So, this new regime is a test to see how it works. I’m hoping it will put me in a better state of health and that the pain will be controlled.

I’ve had few withdrawal symptoms from the opioids. I am taking some withdrawal meds tho. My main symptoms have been diarrhea, feet tingling and insomnia at times.

I’m back to smoking but hope to resume non smoking status once I can refill my non smoking aid medications.

My life these days: Detox, Detox, Detox!!!

Every pill or cigarette you don’t take or smoke is a milestone in the right direction, remember that.

Take strides toward your health, baby steps, or crawl. Just move toward your goal and make progress. Eventually you’ll look up and see yourself sprinting!

One with you in recovery…

Keep coming back.

Keep it simple.

One day at a time.

 

Ripped Paper Questions

Who are you?

Why didn’t you visit me or answer my calls?

Were you ever concerned about me at all?

Would you ever accept my apology?

Did those messages come thru and did you record them?

Do you blame me for everything the way that I do you?

How can we fix this mess?

Why do you think you have had such a profound affect on me and my life?

Are you willing to answer these questions?

If not, why?

Do you think I still care about any of this?

You’ve moved on, why can’t I?

Do you cry like I do at night when I think about what might have been?

Do you know that in this life I have been two people?

I give and do you even know that I do?

Do you even see me? Feel me? Know me?

 

 

 

 

Toolbox for Reducing Stress

  • Meditation

  • Yoga

  • Avoiding negative triggers

    • news

    • negativity

    • energy

    • people

  • Increase positive influences

    • people

    • music

    • vibes

  • Increase physical activity

    • walking

    • gently stretching

    • tai chi

  • Deep breathing

  • House environment

    • clean

    • smudging

    • crystals

    • declutter

    • open windows and blinds

    • add light

    • new plants

  • Hold crystals

  • Beanbag meditation

  • Joyous Activities

    • writing/journaling

    • oracle cards

    • reading

    • hiking

    • gardening

    • playing with cats

    • being connected w daughter

  • Visualization/Guided Imagry

  • Vision Boarding

  • Crafts

  • Prayer

  • Nap

  • Read

  • Hang with friends

  • Enjoy nature

  • Watch a candle burn