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Stuck at 23

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Lately I’ve been thinking that I’m alone

That nothing will ever change or get better

My hair is long and tangled around inside

Like my insides feel and outsides look

I’m surely stuck at that boy when 23

There are showdowns and fights in my head tonight

I’m looking the past into it’s face squarely

You must be true or get to movin’

I’ve had about as much as I can take

But then I recall it’s all about that doll at 23

So now that you know where my heart stands

I ask so kindly of you- how is your heart?

Where can I find you?❤

PEACE. BE STILL!❤✝

 

Dear God/dess:❤🙏

You promised and I believe you. I trust in Your plan but can you throw a girl a rainbow 🌈 ?! It’s time.

Thanks, God.

AMEN.

P.S.- YOU ROCK.☀✝

If I… In this life and In this space.

If I die today, know I loved you

Know I loved you yesterday

And all the yesterday’s prior
And that I will love you more
With every tick of the clock
Moving us into tomorrow.
If I stare too long at you
Treasuring you in this moment
It’s because I have such love
For you in my open heart
And am anxiously awaiting
A soul connection with you
In this life and in this space

Quit Smoking

Today marks the sixth day of no smoking. Holy cow what a miracle. How it happened was I had a quit date set for Friday, June 16th and that date had been set for several months. Well, on June 14th, that Wednesday, as life and God would have it, I ran out of both money and my personal cigarette stash. The Universe lined me up for the perfect quit day!

Day 1 was pretty easy. I am using the patch and very infrequently vaping a minor amount of milligrams of nicotine when my breakthrough cravings get really intense. I was very fired up to quit on the first day and so it felt like the time went fast and like it was easy to do. 

Day 2 and 3 were rough. Lots of symptoms like headache, cravings and irritability. I learned a mind trick from my sister. It’s best to confront your subconscious with this non-smoking head on. Tell yourself, “Okay, basically I’m going to want and crave a cigarette for the next 90 days. So, that’s just going to be a fact. Now I am going to make a different choice. I am going to choose to not smoke and do something healthy instead. Each time I make this choice my muscle for non-smoking builds.” Let the 90 day countdown begin. After the first 90 days you will feel some relief. However, the battle really isn’t done until you reach the 5 year mark but you make marker point progress along the way. The first 90 days are the most difficult when it comes to withdrawal symptoms. 

Day 4&5 I found out that sucking on lollipops can be a great distraction from cravings. What works for you? Also, I drink a lot more water than before and I find myself moving in more feminine ways. I’m getting in touch with more of my femininity now that I don’t stink all the time.

Day 6 I spent outside near water. It felt amazing to be outside. I’m pondering going through my non-smoking materials again just to get some new insights and more ideas and support. Perhaps tomorrow. I meditate regularly now. Thinking of switching from coffee to tea. 

I’m happy to have quit and will record progress not perfection here. One day at a time. One lollipop at a time. One breath at a time. 

Wishing you a smoke free life.